I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
