The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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