is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
