Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
