Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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