Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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