so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize