and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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