***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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