I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
