What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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