I wish I could teleport
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize