I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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