I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
