I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you inspire me to be a worse person
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
