Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
