I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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