New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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