Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
