In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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