we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
