today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
