Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
