i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
