I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
