Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
