Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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