Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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