I wannas sexs uuuuu
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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