I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
