Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
