he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
