i jhust puked up my retainher.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
