So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
