Me. At least after what I've been through.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
