I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
