Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
