you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
