Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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