p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
