Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize