I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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