I wish I could punch you in the face.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize