He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
