he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
