pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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