I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
