I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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