so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
