I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
