His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
