Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
