Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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