I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
