I will die if light touches me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize