I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
