Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
