FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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