every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
